Why You Should Know How to Roll the Perfect Blunt
I will assume you clicked on this article either out of your rabid attraction to cannabis clickbait or your honest interest in learning how to roll the perfect blunt. In that case, let me preface: A Blunt is NOT a joint, and dammit you shouldn’t try to roll it like one.
First we need to start with the basics. What exactly is a blunt? A blunt is a hollowed out cigar filled with marijuana. What type of marijuana you fill it with is obviously dependent on your region and social economic status.
You can typically buy blunts and blunt “wraps”, which are the tobacco(ish) outside layer of a cigar, at your local liquor store or gas station ( and no, they do not sell them at Whole Foods).
Or, for a real authentic flare, you could cop yourself a backwoods, which is a cured, dried portion of tobacco leaf filled with tobacco. This is a surefire way to get a tobacco buzz along with your ganja high.
But let’s pause for a moment….why should you even know how to roll a blunt?
Simple. Not everyone vapes, smokes bowls or joints or downs edibles. And while smoking blunts is probably the worst way you can consume cannabis, sometimes the polite thing to do is smoke one when it’s offered in the rotation.
Okay, so now that you’ve gone to your local hood and purchased your blunt (and perhaps a few Arizona Ice Teas), you’ve got to get down to the act of rolling it, which will be a learning curve.
First, you’ve got to get bud. You don’t have any? Shit. Well, call your dealer or local dispensary. I’ll wait.
Got weed? Good. Grind a bunch of it up. Yes, GRIND it. Don’t be like those fools you see in the back of the bus with long, yellowed fingernails picking apart sticky nugs into the hollowed out remains of a stale Cigarillo. NO, you’re better than that (you’re really not but hopefully that makes you feel empowered) so just use a grinder Also, if you have a decent enough grinder you can collect all that fine kief from your weed and roll your own kief joint later on.
The second step is unwrapping your blunt “wrap” and laying it on a flat surface, to ensure you have something level to roll on. I promise you when you finally become a pro you can roll, walk and freestyle at the same time. For now, however, let’s keep it simple. If you didn’t buy a wrap you will have to “crack” open your blunt, which means splitting it down the middle and clearing all the tobacco leaf out. This is fairly simple if you’re Wolverine, although many folks simply use a kitchen knife or the edge of their keys.
If you do have a regular blunt and not a wrap you will also need to apply a bit of moisture to your blunt, to make it more pliable and easier to roll. Now I suppose you could use some water, but most folks use tears.
I’m kidding, they use spit. And that’s not a joke. I would actually suggest wetting your blunt before you split it open, to make sure it cracks correctly, but get down how you live.
Great. You’re almost there. Here comes the fun, and I’m fairly certain, repetitive part–and that’s rolling your blunt. I say this because you will have to practice this shit for a while if it’s your first time. My suggestion would be to make sure your blunt isn’t too wet (so it won’t rip) and roll your blunt like you are rolling a piece of modeling clay. You are essentially crafting AND rolling your blunt at the same time.
Hopefully, this lovely lady in the video below can guide you through. She’s fairly excited to be on camera, based on her meth-like motor mouth, But I can assure you she’s nothing but the dankness:
