Weed Porn: The Auto Dabber

 

Earlier this morning I was at work dealing with psychotic flare-ups, meth-induced paranoia, barking dogs, you know, the usual when I got a ping from my email.

Weedmaps, whose virtual asses I’ve been blowing huge amounts of smoke up into as of recent, was promoting this device called the Auto Dabber. I didn’t pay the name too much mind until I read the description and immediately got a mental hard-on:

Every one of Auto Dabber’s custom designed pre-filled tanks produces milky rips and unmatched flavor, exactly what you love from top shelf shatter. This is not just another vape pen, it’s a portable dabber, so take your time and discover your own dose.

Did they just say milky rips, unmatched flavor, TOP SHELF SHATTER?

I clicked on the button to enter the site and was graced with this gorgeous breakdown:

Quality means THC, and plenty of it. With an Auto Dabber, you get incredible bang for your hard-earned buck. Every one of our pre-filled tanks hits just like the Shatter that was used to make it. In fact, some people have told us that Auto Dabbers hit harder than a dab. That’s why we can confidently guarantee every one of our products 100%.

Now that’s what I like. I mean hell, we all know what we came here for. To get high dammit, and plenty of it:

Auto Dabber was founded in response to the overwhelming number of people demanding a better vape pen. We are dedicated to designing and manufacturing products that people will be excited to own, carry, and use. This means that every Auto Dabber must be of the highest quality. Whether it’s a hard hitting indica that relaxes you from head to toe, an energetic sativa that gets you going, or a perfect hybrid that does a little of both, Auto Dabber always chooses the best, high-quality materials and is dedicated to intense detail.

I’m usually not one to get excited about a smoking device. They’re fairly functional, nothing more. However I’ve always found vape pens lacking, and the wife and I are starting to bicker more frequently about me smelling like train smoke. So this Auto Dabber looks like it might just be the solution I’ve been searching for. Plus I broke my damned piece yesterday. First world stoner problems, I know, I know…

Let me know in the comment section if you’ve ever tried the Auto Dabber. Does it do what it says?