The Cali-Cannon: It Will Blow You to Pieces

Photos by Lochfoot

Ask anyone who knows me well and  they will tell you I am one of those weed smokers who must do all their smoking in excess.

I wouldn’t compare this type of smoking to the googly-eyed, sloppy lush constantly downing Gin & Tonics; or the perpetually drowsy and dim pill head religiously popping Percocets– no, it’s just that I like to mix and match my weed and concentrates– something I’ve apparently been doing since I was a  wee lil’ kid. The mixing and matching part, not the smoking weed and concentrates part…far as I know.

See back then my parents were kind enough to let me make what I called “mixtures” (I wasn’t very creative). I would take a bunch of random ingredients from the pantry and fridge like flour, salt, pepper, yeast, hot sauce, apple juice, and mix it all together in a big mixing bowl. I thought I was making a real tasty treat when all I was making was a real inedible mess.

Flash forward to college. It was the late 1990’s, I lived in Chicago, listened to Arrested Development and Digable Planets and rocked cut off jeans, acari shells, dreadlocks and reeked of Egyptian Musk. Weed back then looked like collard greens and I can clearly remember getting ripped off from dudes selling bags of oregano because quite honestly, sometimes you couldn’t tell the difference.

Buying some “Fire” cost a small fortune, so what little you got had to last you awhile. At least for a weed head like me it did.  I would scrape the resin from my pipe and mix it with my weed (I called them resin balls, again I lack creativity)and smoke that shit up. It got me higher than a Georgia pine and to justify its ugly usage I always explained I was recycling my pot. So there. It was for Mother Earth.

Now that I’m a bit older (okay a way more bit), I find that I mix my California grade weed with hashes (yes that’s plural) and waxes (plural again) something one of my friends terrifyingly refers to as “Nuclear Grade Weed”. It’s a blend that makes your hair fall out and will make you DIE about 20 years too early, yet I smoke about 3 radioactive bowls of it after work.

So yeah, I’m thinking I’m some big shit until I come across THIS article from High Times. Someone invented something called the Cali-Cannon, which requires at least 2 grams of Hash, Honey Oil, Keif and at least an eight of the oh so delicious Purple Romulan.

I think I may have found something else to add to my Stoner Bucket List. 


Petey Wheatstraw

Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I'm an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion-- not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I've lived in the Bay Area since 1996. Click Here for Free Cannabis