People often associate “top-shelf” marijuana with cannabis caviar, something only the affluent and obnoxious would buy. In reality, it’s a term that’s thrown around way too casually, similar to the term “racism”. And like racism, you can feel expensive cannabis strains when you smoke them, although their price often doesn’t reflect their potency.
Don’t get me wrong, while top shelf buds often command a higher price it’s usually only a few dollars more a gram, give or take. But that’s nothing when compared to some real top-shelf shit, which can run your unaverage cannabis consumer anywhere from $100 for an 1/8th to $800 an ounce. Check out seven such strains below:
Even if you don’t believe Elon Musks recent assertion that we are all living in a computer simulated reality (a’la the movie the Matrix), you have to admit The Oracle, with a reported remarkable 40% THC content (double what typical high THC strains offer) is some pretty far out stuff.
But therein lies the controversy. According to an L.A.-based lab, The Werc Shop, the Oracle is really just a re-branded strain genetically identical to the AC/DC strain, a strain that is readily available in Southern California dispensaries and retails for less than $10 a gram of dried flowers.
This hasn’t stopped the demand for the Oracle– quite the contrary actually. Seeds being sold through online exchanges go for up to $200 each while a single Oracle clone can fetch up to $1,000.
Not only is the Oracle incredibly strong (reportedly), it also has an insanely short life cycle, about 45 days, or half that of any other Cannabis strain on the face of the earth.
This clever marketing of a weed strain with incredible potency, coupled with it being in short supply, has sent people with deep pockets (and high tolerances) into a buying frenzy–all for something they could easily buy for 30 bucks.
The real question that begs to ask, however, is who the hell are these people paying $200 for a seed?
Isla O.G. Canned Cannabis
2 Chainz notoriously brought this strain into stoner consciousness when he featured it on his Internet show “Most Expensivest Shit”. Decadence being key here, 2 Chainz proceeded to roll that ish up in a Shine 24k gold rolling paper and burn a whole ounce in one giant, ornate pipe. Fuck me sideways.
What’s definitely unique about Isla O.G is that it comes canned in ⅛ ounce portions. Each bud is meticulously trimmed and immediately put in a can where it can begin the curing process, ensuring optimal freshness. Each can sell for around $100 (that’s an 1/8th remember), making a full ounce of this stuff $800.
Top Shelf THC is the company responsible for this decadent doja. And not only do they boost a variety of different canned strains, they also have their own line of concentrates you won’t be smoking on anytime soon too!
Not the cereal you love to nosh on when you’re baked as an apple turnover, Fruity Pebbles was, and I repeat was, an amazingly colorful hybrid strain released in 2012 by Alien Genetics. Seeds reportedly sold for a limited time only, demanding as much $1,000 to $1,200 per pack. Packing a potent 20% THC appeal, the strain itself looks like natural hot spring, coated with shades of red, orange, purple and green.
A cross between Granddaddy Purple, Tahoe Alien, and Green Ribbon, this strain is an indica-dominant hybrid that produces a dense, aromatic smoke. Buyers beware–Fruity Pebbles has been known to make the QVC Home Shopping Network entertaining.
J1 is just so damn pretty….and thus explains its price appeal. Chocked full of THC (22% to be precise) it can run the gambit monetarily. In Los Angeles, for example, this strain can sell for over $350 per ounce, making it a sack likely aspiring mumble rappers with bad budgeting skills and Twitter fans to maintain cop on a regular.
Because of its potency, novice smokers might find J1’s effects a bit too much, as it can change your price and cash you out. It isn’t overly stimulating to ganja vets as it tends to leave a person focused and relaxed, making it an excellent daytime strain for experienced smokers.
XJ-13 isn’t the name of the spaceship that will take away all the rich white people to Mars when humanity goes down the tubes, nor is it the name of a particularly virulent strain of Ebola. Thankfully, it’s the name of a weed strain you might be too broke to buy. The bastard child of the legendary Jack Herer and G-13, XJ-13 is thought to be higher than average in a cannabinoid called THCV. Recent Studies suggest that THCV may be helpful for those with metabolic disorders, like diabetes.
An excellent daytime strain, XJ-13 features a THC content of up to 22%, making it quite strong. Take a few tokes and enjoy your day with measured steps. However, keep in mind with potency sometimes comes a price: this stoney bud has sold for over $375 per ounce.
A rare sativa backcross of the world-famous hybrid, Blue Dream, Loud Dream has sold on the deep web and other nefarious locations for as much as $800 an ounce.
Simmering with a knee-buckling 28% THC content, Loud Dream screams as soon as you let her out the bag, and will likely go batshit crazy on your friends. Perfect for a wake and bake session as its effects are uplifting and euphoric; Loud Dream will leave you vividly awake as you ruminate about the decisions in your life. I mean you did drop almost a grand for a bag of weed.
White Fire OG
Offering not only the highest THC content on this list, White Fire OG also has the distinction of being able to make you overdraft your bank account. With a toasty 30% THC, this impressive strain is the offspring of a cross between The White and Fire OG.
Although available in many California dispensaries due to this buds high yield, it also is a fan favorite and tends to run out fast. Finding a decent price for this particular strain can be difficult, which is why in some Golden State dispensaries White Fire OG has sold for almost $640 an ounce.
Though it’s possible to find this flower in the $260-$300 per ounce range elsewhere, meaning another state like Colorado or Oregon, it commands a fetching price when cultivated to its highest potential.
Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I’m an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion– not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I’ve lived in the Bay Area since 1996.