Strawberry Banana: The Weed Strain for Vegans

Living in San Francisco–duly the bastion of liberal agendas run amok and one of the most radiant cities in the world—one often encounters people who take “organic living” to a whole different plateau.

These are the folks who happily drop $50 for a loaf of nutty artisanal bread at Trader Joes or only wear clothes that are 100% hand woven from old, blind women living in mountain pueblos in Guatemala. These are the same folks who won’t eat anything that casts a shadow yet will gladly step over your homeless ass with a disgusted sneer. Some call these people holistic, some call them hippies. I call them deprived (depraved?).

Not that I’m judging, as that would be the hallmark of a true West Coaster. Having been raised in the Midwest, we tend to bottle up our judgments until they explode in a cascade of violence. Why do you think our Sunday church services are so well attended (besides our extremely high murder rates)? 

I’m a meat eater by the way. And just like my food, I like my weed meaty, if that makes sense. I want it dripping with resinous blood as I gnaw on crunchy bones and rip into fibrous flesh. Typically weed strains that sound like a fruit salad simply don’t do it for me.They’re made for starry-eyed white girls in yoga pants who have low THC tolerances– Or so I thought.

Image result for girls in yoga pants smoking weed

So when I tried Strawberry Banana for the first time last week…. Whew. Where do I even begin?

If the strain sounds like a smoothie you might get at Jamba Juice, you’re right. After your first hit your eyes will squeeze and you’ll be juiced. Thoroughly. 

Boasting a rather sickening 26% THC content, Strawberry Banana smells like a pine tree just shat on your face. Its Buds are dense, its smoke is fluid, and after you smoke 5 hours later you’ll still be going through it.  Yes, even you chronic smokers will feel it, all day long. 

To surmise: Strawberry Banana is a weed smokers hubris. Not only will you be surprised about how righteously high you are, you’ll be humbled at how you’ll never be sober again. 

Best Song To Listen to While Indulging: Blueberry Yum Yum-Ludacris 

Best Show/Movie to Watch While Indulging: Strawberry Shortcake (The cartoon from the 1980’s, not that shit they’re trying to pass off to kids now)

Petey Wheatstraw

Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I'm an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion-- not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I've lived in the Bay Area since 1996. Click Here for Free Cannabis