Oh Boy. Cops in Santa Ana California raided a pot shop. And while that isn’t exactly news, the video that surfaced allows the public to see cops being, well, cops again (and dickish ones at that).
The cop with an obviously much too large penis, the one who’s straddling the display case in front, let’s call him Jake Gyllenhaal, because I think I might go see his new movie Southpaw and I really liked him in Donnie Darko and that movie he’s in that’s set in Iraq, where he’s a Marine Sniper and he’s all like pink mist, pink mist…Anyway, Jake over here, he’s a real rebel. See how he makes it a point to make sure everyone sees him eating that edible like he could care less about any repercussions? He’s cool. Cooler than cool. He’s the cool side of the pillow cool. Even cooler than the cop that looks like a balding Bobby Mays (may his coke-addled heart rest in peace) and seems to be bagging up goodies to take home to his peroxide blond wife. Judging from how long cool Jake is gazing at the label on his weed bar, I’m guessing this is his first edible, and he’s thinking he’s just biting into a Klondike when really, even gullible weed heads know not to eat the whole damn thing. He might just turn into this guy.
Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I’m an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion– not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I’ve lived in the Bay Area since 1996.