A couple of weeks ago I was digging through articles on the internet to find something to write about for the site (this website I mean, not my gravesite).
I stumbled across an article from High Times titled “The Cheap, Easy and Non-Explosive Way to Make Dabs at Home“. Being the dab hound that I be, I found this more than eye-catching and tucked the story away behind some other tabs on my phone for a rainy day.
That day was yesterday and it actually was raining. No lie. I read the article a few times and tried my best to follow it step by step. After all, it looked simple enough, all I needed was:
- A Hair Straightening Iron (luckily I had one from when I pimp on the weekends)
- Parchment Paper ( again, fortunately, I had some from when I bake cookies for homeless toddlers living in Skid Row)
- A couple of grams of weed or bubble hash (I wasn’t about to waste a whole gram of good weed, but I had some shake lying around so I figured that would suffice)
After that, I was to fold a piece of the parchment paper in half and put a little weed in the middle of it. Then I was to set the straightening iron to medium-low heat and squeeze the folded parchment paper with a fair amount of pressure for five seconds, open it and remove the flattened, heated starting material (i.e the weed).
What was to appear was a ring of oily resin around the weed. I should have been able to repeat the process two or three times on the same sample, which was to give me a 7 to 10 percent return of a translucent (and dabbable) solventless oil.
I was either:
A) Too damn high or
B) Too damn high and rushed OR
C) Too damn high, rushed AND stupid AND using goddamn shake
that what I produced was more akin to a grease stain on a white paper bag of liquor store fries:
I now know what I also did wrong, besides the obvious. I pressed down on the hair straightener for 15 seconds too many, and as hard as I could. To make matters worse, not only did I not produce any “oily resin” my entire bathroom smelled like burnt weed shortly afterward.
So don’t do that. Don’t be dumb like Petey. Follow these nifty instructions from the folks at High Times instead and I guarantee you’ll fare better than I did.
1) A hair iron, some parchment paper and weed are all you need.
2) Set the iron to medium low and put your weed in the parchment paper.
3) Squeeze very hard for a few seconds.
4) Collect the squeezed-out resin on your dabber.
And there you have it. I wound up throwing my toast weed in the trash in disgust. After that, I hit some dabs, which in all honesty I should have just done in the first damn place.
My name is Petey Wheatstraw, also known as Charles Stevens. I’m an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion– not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I’ve lived off and on in the Bay Area since 1996. Seven years ago I finally settled here to capture the changing face of our communities.