Kona Gold: The Strain of Choice Among Drug Smugglers

Is Kona Gold really the strain of choice among drug smugglers? Probably not. But when I prepared to write this review all I could conjure were images of naturally athletic white dudes with long blond hair wearing cutoff, stonewashed jeans and donning aviator glasses as they grinned widely on some pristine beach in Maui because they had just loaded 10 kilos of some primo Kona Gold in the back of their red and white Cessna–and were about to make a killing on it back in the San Fernando valley, circa 1974. So because that’s the image that keeps bouncing around my brain we’ll just run with it, shall we?

Kona Gold is an old-school strain that will give you an old school high. You smoke some and suddenly everything will appear Lo-fi, like pictures in your mom and dad’s photo album. Yes actual, physical photos, those things.


Image result for lo-fi photography
When you’re so high life looks like a polaroid picture


It’s a perfect strain for smoking and slowly driving through smog-filled Los Angeles streets, eventually ending up under a graffiti-stained viaduct where you lean against your convertible as Funkadelic spills out your speakers and you throw rocks at metal garbage cans illuminated by your car’s headlights.

It’s perfect for cruising, let’s just put it that way. Whether that be flying, driving, the Gold will get you there.

In Flower form:

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Or as a concentrate:

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It will produce an intense, heady high that will make you wonder if you’ve smoked weed or taken to many hits of blotter acid at a Neil Young concert in The Roxy. Not only that the high will linger for hours as you drift in and out of your daily activities like a narcoleptic. But hey, what’s life without a lil’ repetition?

So stay gold, Kona Gold, stay gold.

Best Song to Listen to While Indulging: Santana-Samba Para Ti

Best Show to Watch While Indulging: Hawaii Five-O


Petey Wheatstraw

Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I'm an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion-- not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I've lived in the Bay Area since 1996. Click Here for Free Cannabis