Jeff Sessions Has His Own Line of Rolling Papers

This might come as news to some of you but Jeff Sessions, our current Attorney General, really, really hates weed smokers. Don’t let Trumps recent glib assertion that we should give drug dealers the death penalty scare you, that’s all wild mouth-fantasy from a gullible narcissist in love with 80’s style movie villains as opposed than anything that could actually happen. Unless of course, Jeff Sessions has some say in the matter (which he would). In that case people, be afraid, be very afraid.  At a Senate drug hearing in 2016, Sessions even went as far as to say “Good people don’t smoke marijuana.” Come on Jeff. 

But I digress (writing stoned will do that to you from time to time). Imagine if Loretta Lynch had her own line of female CBD infused suppositories, that would be a damn trip wouldn’t it? Then why does Jeff Sessions having his own line of rolling papers seem… so right?  

The creative geniuses behind this are “JeffSesh”, a company that sells General Jeff’s “Old Rebel” Session Papers.  For $5 you get a pack of rolling papers that feature a cartoon image of Sessions smoking a fat joint. It all began as a joke on the bite-sized AG but now they report they are close to selling out.

They write:

#JeffSesh is a campaign to tell Jeff Sessions:We’re not criminals, junkies or idiots. Regular Jeffs all over the country—good, responsible, patriotic Americans—have a sesh now and then… and it’s OK!

(The World’s Best Ever)


Petey Wheatstraw

Hi, my name is Petey Wheatstraw. I'm an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion-- not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I've lived in the Bay Area since 1996. Click Here for Free Cannabis