I’m going to start right off and say this article is secretly a message to my non-pot smoking girlfriend. She tells me I’m her special stoner boyfriend and for that reason alone I think I deserve something a little more thoughtful for Valentine’s Day this year, being the underachieving man child that I am.
If you too have a stoner boyfriend (or partner or lover– we don’t discriminate) we guarantee the 5 items below will make them fall head over heels in love with you, all over again.
Foria–Cannabis-Infused Sexual Lubricant
It’s time we shed some old-timey stigmas when it comes to women and weed. That means no more slut-shaming, no more side-eye and demeaning remarks about how unladylike smoking cannabis is. And for fuck’s sake can we also please allow women to fully embrace their sexuality?
If you’re nodding earnestly to any of this both you and your stoner boyfriend will be happy to know there is a sexual lubricant on the market that is infused with weed. Smear some on and watch the highs fly. Foria is a therapeutic oil designed to enhance female pleasure and is made with all-natural liquid coconut oil (MCT) and purified pharmaceutical-grade cannabis oil. What this means is that anything that comes into contact with it, a hungry and willing mouth, for example, will be sure to absorb all that THC goodness.
Sexxpot— Orgasm Intensifying Weed
If sex and pot are your things, then you shouldn’t be surprised that someone who shares your same passions fused the two in an attempt to make a holy alliance unseen since someone first dunked cookies in milk. Karyn Wagner, founder of Paradigm Medical Marijuana and now the owner of Bay Area-based Sexxpot created this unique strain to give women the ability to increase their orgasmic prowesses through the power of pot. Essentially the strain is cultivated with women in mind, with the goal of helping them achieve mind-blowing, intense, full-body orgasms during sexual intercourse.
Hemper — Weed Subscription Box
Stoners crave variety, like switching from Fruit Loops to Trix or Mama Celeste Pizzas to Tombstone (the good stuff). Your stoner boyfriend is no different. Help him out a bit this year by setting him up with Hemper, a monthly subscription box that offers everything from rolling papers and roach clips to dab rigs and stash jars. Hemper’s alternating curation of goods always features a glass pipe in the mix, with the ability to choose between the Bare Essential, Hemper Pack and the Glassesntials Box, which includes a premium, hand-curated pipe for its users.
The Privacy Pop Tent –Hotbox Your Bed
You and your stoner boyfriend need some quality alone time. He’s had a rough day working the cash register at your local Whole Foods and his feet are sore from riding his skateboard all day. It doesn’t matter he’s only 35, he feels like he’s made it, so it’s best you two take some time and talk some sense into him.
And what’s a better place to talk sense than in a thick, unnerving cloud of weed smoke? That’s the beauty of the Privacy Pop Tent. It allows for optimal privacy and the ability to hotbox your own bed.
You can erect four nylon walls in your bed, spark one up and explain to your stoner boyfriend why quitting his job at Whole Foods and growing weed might not be the most viable career choice right now.
OTTO Electric Grinder–Look Ma, No Hands
Wouldn’t it be great that if for this Valentine’s the date was already set, the romance and mood was apparent and the joints just rolled themselves? Well, get you stoner boyfriend The Otto Electric Grinder from Banana Bros and he might just utter those three magical words:
I love this!
Tenderly show him how it works and watch as his jaw falls off his face. And if your stoner boyfriend doesn’t love and appreciate you after a gift like this, well, micro-dosing tech bros are always an option.
My name is Petey Wheatstraw, also known as Charles Stevens. I’m an avid marijuana smoker, writer, devoted father and non-profit minion– not necessarily in that order. A Chicago native I’ve lived off and on in the Bay Area since 1996. Seven years ago I finally settled here to capture the changing face of our communities.